Hi everyone! It’s been a few… years? Sorry about that. The positive is – I’m not dead! Hooray!
So, where the heck have I been? Well, on my couch from early 2020 (COVID lock down came as such a relief) and in bed since August 2022. I tell you, chronic illnesses are not a heck of a lot of fun.
I’m really not too sure whether I want to go into too much detail over it all.
Firstly: I don’t like talking on and on about illness – makes me a boring person.
Secondly, do you really want to know all the gruesome ins and outs of it all? See my comment on boring.
I will summarise it though, how’s that?
Firstly – wasn’t COVID. I can happily, and honestly, say that no one in my household has ever caught COVID.
Mostly as we kept to ourselves as much as we could. I mean, before all this I already had a compromised immune system, so was on the “high risk” list. Plus my hubby works in pathology testing, so was one of the not that much talked about, but still essential, “Front Line” workers during the worst of it all.
But, no COVID. So, nope, no long COVID. I already have Chronic Fatigue, so who would have noticed anyhow! But I digress into sarcastic quips way too soon.
What I will say is it’s been a not so fun game of hide and seek. They find something/ diagnose me with something, start sorting it out and, as it lessens, it means they find something else. Such fun!
It started with stage 5 Endometriosis. One of the “not instantly a death sentence” stage 5s. But, seriously ladies, if you think your periods hurt more than “normal” you keep nagging those medical professionals. I did, and for years was told there was nothing wrong with me. Until there was and this whole thing kicked off. Again, I could go into it, but this is meant to be an interesting read, not a verbal sedative.
Okay, so they “fixed” the Endometriosis in December 2022. Things were meant to be on the up and up from there. And they seemed to be for a bit. Then they found the type 2 diabetes, an aneurism on my spleen, and early stage non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.
When I literally, crashed into my bed in August 2022, and said I could go no further, they started looking at my lungs, heart and other things. The jury is still out on whether I have COPD as it seems to all depend on how you interpret it. I say no I don’t, so let’s stick with that.
But, my most recent diagnosis, which was meant to “fix” me, was for POTS – look it up, as, sorry, I can’t be bothered explaining it all.
Sadly, the medications they put me on for that caused all manner of issues. So my POTS is still a work in process, and I’m still stuck in bed – literally. I get up to take the few steps to my bathroom to use the loo, make the epic journey (of pain and fatigue) to shower with assistance… struggle to make the odd face to face medical appointment. But besides that, I am in bed.
It sucks…
I hate it...
Yes I bead, draw, write, read, organise the world, etc. from my bed… but it’s not the same as being able to get up, and be care free as you do even the most mundane things. I can’t make my own food, I can’t put on a load of washing, dust the lounge room, walk in the park… There are days I can’t even dress myself. I’ve had my driving license suspended, as people really seem to disprove of me fainting behind the wheel, and all in all I feel like my whole life has been suspended. I hope I’ll be getting it back.
On a good day, I can go into the kitchen and make myself a sandwich (as long as my hubby does all the gathering of ingredients and cleaning up, plus carrying plate of food into the bedroom). On a bad day… well, let’s just say I wish there were “install yourself” catheters. Sorry if TMI, I am trying to keep it at a G rating.
BUT! I am mostly okay… in comparison to how I have been. The brain fog has lifted, I can think, plan, read again. Things I couldn’t even manage for a while. I have more days out of that nasty “awake coma” than I have in there.
One day soon…
When they get my POTS to the point I can sit for more than 10 minutes without shaking or fainting, I hope to start rehabilitation physio.
Five years off my feet, after being a very busy stay at home mum to three neuro diverse kids, has taken it’s tole. The fact I turn 50 next year has not helped. The road to recovery is going to be very long, very hard, and I am not guaranteed that I’ll ever get back to my full former capacity.
It really makes me want to throw things at the world and scream. A lot.
Especially at all the medical professionals who, for fourteen years when I said something was wrong, they told me I was just fat and needed to lose weight. Then, when I lost the weight they said I was just a very busy person and needed to realise, as we get older, we’re not as strong as we once were. I was only bloody forty, you numpties.
They didn’t even bat an eye at me gaining 50 kg in six months, while living my busy, healthy lifestyle. They simply returned to the old mantra of “There’s nothing wrong with you, just lose some weight”.
I really shouldn’t be surprised by it all, it appears I’ve had POTS most of my life, and was only diagnosed this year. That was the 2nd Doctor to ever apologise to me that it took so long (perhaps as I was bawling my eyes out in relief as he told me) and he apologised for all the other Doctors being incompetent.
The only other Doctor who apologised was the Endometriosis specialist who had never seen such a serious case. Those two Doctors I like. The rest? Well, we’re keeping this G rated, aren’t we? But meeting a new medical professional can make me hostile.
BUT! Enough about me and why I wasn’t here...
Let’s discuss why I’m back – Basically, I love to review.
And, yes, I truly do love getting sent free stuff to review. It can be just an eBook, it can be a giant kitchen appliance – I love to review.
Side note – Right now, I’d much rather it be a book please.
I haven’t stopped reviewing!
In fact, in March this year Amazon Australia invited me to join their Vine program. Yes, it’s not as exclusive as they make it out to be, but I have enjoyed my time with them. Next week is my re-assessment date, so here’s hoping they like me, keep me, and upgrade me to Gold!
I know there’s a lot of anti-Amazon talk out there. And yes, I’ve been part of it from time to time. But ever since I started reviewing, I’ve left reviews on either their Amazon (America) site, or their Amazon Australia site. Publishers who entrust me with their books on Netgalley really like it when you do that. It tends to mean they send you more books you’ll like.
And, I have to say, I have given some very harsh constructive criticism of items on Amazon, that I’ve received through their Vine program, and they’ve published it! I mean, yes, I have tried to only order items I think will be of use around my home. But some of the things I’ve received have been so shonky, they’d win the Shonky awards for a decade. And Amazon let me go into great detail about it in my reviews and published them.
So, I’d like to think I’m trying to help make them a safer, better quality place to shop. You might not like them, or agree with me (or anyone) for using them… but that’s a You thing. Vine, right now, is a Me thing. And it’s helped keep me sane while I’ve been trapped in my bed. It’s one of my favourite hobbies!
What else? Well, recently I’ve gotten in touch with other places I used to review for, and I’ve been put back on their lists of potential reviewers. I honestly don’t think I’ll be getting much love from them right away, as I need to prove I’m back by posting here again more regularly. So here I am!
I’m also hoping to get into the YouTube side of posting reviews soon too. I use You Tube for my crafting (see below) and used to use it to interview some folks for this site, but I want to get into it more. Even if it means you’re stuck looking at my ugly mug once a week as I do a quick rundown on the items I’ve reviewed that week.
I’ve also been mucking about with Ko-Fi… I’m not sure I’m a fan of it though, as I feel it’s more for creators than reviewers (or crafters). Time will tell.
And, have I mentioned I got into crafting?
I started in late 2019 (I think) and find great peace and joy taking old, broken (cheap) jewellery and wire and creating new things. Trees of life mostly. If you’re interested, look me up on Instagram – Craftily Recycled.
I’ve sold my pieces all over the world. Rather proud of that. Plus, the first (and only) market stall I ever did went so well I’ve earnt back the money I’d paid to be there within half an hour or so! And then made the budget to pay my kid’s remaining school fees! Whoop!
So, if I’m not reading and reviewing, I’m most likely playing with beads and wire. It is truly my happy place. More than even writing! And my motto used to be “I breathe, therefore I write”. Now it’s “one can never own too many beads”. And, trust me, my house is literally full of them. See a bead on the floor, in a bookshelf, under the furniture? Simply proves you’re in my house!
Okay, so this is looking to be a bigger post than I had hoped…
But, if you’ve read it all the way through, thank you! Please wake up now.
A big hello to all my followers, thanks for sticking around (even if it’s just because you forgot to unfollow me in my absence).
If you’d like to say a hello back, please feel free to leave a comment below. But, please, don’t use it to ask me to review anything. Right now I’m not accepting review requests, except from people I’ve contacted first.
I hope you’re all well (better than me at least), and that you have a great week.
Until next time,
Janis.
Janis's Journal 